Notice How You Do

In your everyday life, do you practice mental toughness? Do you stay cool and “in the fight” when things start getting crazy, or do you follow the impulse to avoid, escape or explode?

I’m talking about everyday situations here, not life threatening ones. So, do you avoid giving a bad report? Do you fall apart when criticized? If someone shouts at you? Do you stand up for yourself effectively when inappropriately treated?

When you have a fight with your spouse, do you get weak and scream at her/him or run away, or do you stand there, using all your faculties to keep your cool and communicate effectively and with all the best feelings you know are real... even if those aren’t at the tip of your brain at the moment?

At work, do you get frenzied when a deadline is approaching, or is that the time when you get serious about building a system for efficiency?

For the next week or two, pay attention to how you deal with these things. Keep score and see how you do.

Take the time to notice and think about whether your actions were of a “tough” level that actually made you more effective. Think about how you can stop yourself from ineffective impulses, and how you’ll find the psychological wherewithal to step up and succeed on an even more consistent basis. You may or may not find the answers that directly, but why not get that motor running?

Also note what you’re thinking—the “voices” in your head that either encourage you or attack you. Mentally, we constantly talk to ourselves and reference past experiences in order to understand our present. What does that discussion sound like for you?

It may pay to keep notes. I’ve been amazed many times at what insights just slip out of my head like a dream if I don’t find some way to anchor them.

And I should also say that if you don’t like what you find, congratulations! Most likely, that feeling means that you are being honest with yourself. And by doing that, you’ve already put yourself on the way to something better. Pschological growth usually comes when we recognize our faults—and almost never when we deny them.

The next article on its way is about taking what we have and building on it.

By the way, if all of this is too basic for you, all I ask is that you check back from time to time to see if the material in the series has advanced to where you can get something out of it. I know it’s basic at this point and I just want to make sure I don’t leave anyone behind.

I noted in the last article in this section that there was a time when I was as gloomy as a storm. To expand a little, I tried reading self-help books and books on positive thinking, and found that they drove me deeper into depression, because I couldn’ find an upbeat place in my psyche and felt like a freak because of it. I wondered if I was “wired backwards” or something. I wasn’t, of course, but I had to take the scenic tour to positive thinking. And I want to help others who are today like I was then.

Also, please visit my survival forum, if you have the time and inclination. As of this writing, it’s a “virgin” forum, with only one message—from me, announcing its opening. I hope to see it become a community of people who’ve found the satisfaction of learning what they need to know and collecting the skills and provisions—and attitude—that will make them a success at survival, at home, at work and wherever they are.

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